Worthless
by alicat53
Summary: As Zuko and Iroh adjust to their new life in Ba Sing Se, Zuko continues to struggle with the turmoil inside him, especially when a problem arises at work. First attempt at fanfic, so be nice and give feedback! Kind of sappy, with lotsa Zuko Iroh fluff!


"ZUKO! Where are you? I need that tray, now!" Iroh said as he swiftly gathered various empty tea cups and spoons from a table where customers had previously been seated.

"I'm right behind you Uncle." grumbled Zuko as his usual scowl turned into a harsh frown.

"Oh, I didn't even see you there nephew!" smiled Iroh as he took the tray from Zuko's hands. He carefully loaded the used cups and utensils onto the tray, as not to break them, and then set the tray back into his nephew's hands, which hadn't moved an inch since Iroh had pulled the tray away from him. "Now take this back to the kitchen, and be sure to wash them well this time! We don't want another incident like yesterday!" Iroh said jokingly as he winked and playfully elbowed his nephew's arm.

"I know how to do my job, Uncle!" Zuko barked as he reflected on the previous days mishap, in which he almost incinerated a man after the customer refused to tip Zuko because he found a large spider-fly carcass at the bottom of his brew that probably flew in to sip up the drops of jasmine tea remaining in the bottom of the cup which Zuko had failed to clean out (mainly because he was practicing chopping up tea leaves blindfolded with his Dao swords), only to drown in the tea that Iroh poured into what he thought was a clean cup.

"Well, I guess we will just have to let the customers be the judge of that." Iroh said as he grinned and walked towards the front of the teashop to greet the incoming customers.

"Hmpff…" Zuko grunted as he returned to the kitchen with the tray full of dirty dishware. He set the tray down and unloaded the cups and spoons into the sink filled with soapy, gray water. Returning to the front room with his tray, Zuko began walking towards the first table he saw with more dirty teacups, not even noticing the impending shadow that overcame the floor in front of him. Before he had a chance to react, he bumped strait into a large man who was carrying two cups of scalding hot tea. As he fell to the ground, the searing hot liquid, along with the teacups and his empty metal tray, landed on him and on the floor around him.

Too embarrassed to let out any yelps of pain, Zuko slowly and shamefully looked up at the towering figure above him.

"You filthy, worthless peasant, watch where you're walking! I paid two gold pieces for that tea and I expect to get DOUBLE my money's worth now that you went and ruined it!" the man said as he frowned, then turned to sit down next to his wife at their table.

Before Zuko could even stand up and counter the customer's insult, Iroh rushed over to his nephew and grabbed him by the arm. "How about we go into the kitchen and get you cleaned up nephew!" said Iroh as the two scurried their way out sight.

"You must learn to be more careful! You could have gotten hurt!" Iroh said firmly as he brought Zuko into the kitchen. "Here, let me help you with-"

"I'M FINE UNCLE!" Zuko exclaimed, turning his back to his uncle so he couldn't see the burns on his arm as he rolled up his sleeve to wipe of the now cooled tea.

"No you are not. Let me see your arm." Iroh softly said as touched Zuko's left arm. Zuko pulled away, both out of pain and anger.

"I said I'm fine Uncle! Just go have fun with your tea and leave me alone" said Zuko as he turned his head slightly in Iroh's direction, only to shoot an angry look at the man who was trying to help him.

After spending three years with his nephew, Iroh had long since learned to look past the boy's angry outbursts and bitter glares. Several moments passed before Iroh began. "Although it would not be a bad thing for you to maybe look where you are walking in the future, I hope you understand that that man did not have any reason to say those things to you."

Zuko didn't respond.

"I know it is hard for you to live this kind of life right now, but I promise, with a lot of dedication and patience-"

"WHAT?!" Zuko yelled accusingly. "I can realize all my faults and weaknesses and become a stronger man and return home with no avatar, yet somehow have my honor restored by father because I'm a better person for all this?!?!?!"

"No, I wasn't going to say that." Iroh replied calmly.

"Then what?!" Zuko shouted. "What were you going to say?!" he continued to yell. "I'm sure whatever it was it wouldn't even matter. That guy out there was right. I am a filthy, worthless peasant. I always was. That's how my father may as well have seen me. Who am I kidding? I'm no prince. I'm a failure. I'm a failure and I'm weak and at this rate I'm going to spend the rest of my life in this horrible tea shop and this horrible city and I'm NEVER going to go home!"

Zuko ripped off his apron and stormed out the back door of the teashop before his uncle could stop him. Iroh started after the boy, but realized that what he said at this point really wouldn't matter. Zuko wouldn't listen to him until he had time to clear his head and calm his turbulent emotions.

Iroh looked out the window of the kitchen, pondering for a moment about how he should approach his nephew when the time came later that day, and wondering if he would ever again see the happy little boy he knew years ago, who at one point seemed to be filled with such hope and wonder, who saw the best in even the worst of people, and who never gave up without a fight. It seemed as though that little boy had long since disappeared to make room for a confused young man, filled with despair instead of hope, doubt instead of wonder, who saw the worst in everyone, and who easily gave in to his feelings of anger and shame.

Realizing he hadn't been back in quite a while to check on the customers that were still waiting for their tea, Iroh quickly returned to the front room and forced a smile as he told Pao, his boss, that his nephew would not be returning to work until later because of the injuries he received during his fall. Swallowing the lump that had been growing in his throat, Iroh began picking up the broken tea cups and wiping up the spilled tea, hoping that he would be able to successfully make it through the rest of the day without knowing where Zuko was or if he was okay.

Zuko trudged through the bustling streets of Ba Sing Se's lower ring, trying to quickly make his way back to the slump of an apartment he had to call home. He pushed his way through merchants, children, mothers, vegetables, animals, carts, and buildings until he finally made it out of the crowds and onto the less busy dirt roads that would eventually lead him back to his only sanctuary. Zuko's legs began to tire as he started becoming aware of just how long the walk between the teashop and the apartment really was.

"_It always seemed so much shorter when I walked with uncle…"_ Zuko thought. He shook his head. _"No, there is no way, even when I'm alone, that I am going to let that old man get to me. He never knows what he's talking about. He just doesn't understand what it's like. He doesn't know what it's like to be a failure. He doesn't know what it's like to seen as week. He doesn't know what it's like to be…worthless…"_

Zuko's thoughts and mind wandered from place to place until he finally reached his destination. He pushed open creaky door to his and his uncle's apartment and made his way to their shared bedroom. He then continued to take off his tea stained uniform until all he was wearing was his tan drawstring pants. Nearly collapsing onto the thin mat that somehow passed for a bed, Zuko continued to bitterly reflect on the words that customer had so bluntly spat in his face.

"_That guy must be right. I mean, if a stranger was able to point out the same qualities in me that my own father had taken years to realize, then I must be even more of a failure than I thought. But if that's really true, then why does Uncle continue to tell me otherwise? What does he see in me that others, including myself, fail to see on a regular basis?"_

"ARGHH I'M SO CONFUSED!" Zuko finally exclaimed out of frustration, filling the previously silent room with sudden noise. Zuko flipped over from his stomach to his side and continued to think.

"_How could Uncle say that man was wrong?" _ He thought angrily. "_I haven't lived long enough to even see my first facial hair, yet I've made more mistakes than Uncle and Father combined! I've always struggled and fought my way through life to get what I want, but I never actually seem to GET what I want. The only thing that's ever there is the struggling and the fighting. Only someone who is truly worthless could work as hard as me to get what they want and never succeed."_

A bitter tear slid out from Zuko's eye as continued his self deprecating thoughts. He tossed and turned on his mat, burying his ever-growing sadness and shame with more anger and hostility. Finally, after several more tears fell from his unscarred eye, Zuko gave in and let his sorrow get the best of him. He silently began to cry, cringing as he allowed years of suppressed emotion to be released from his tormented soul.

Quite some time passed before fatigue overcame the tears, and Zuko started to fall into a deep, much needed slumber. The sun had barely even begun to set, but the exhausted boy couldn't help but shut his eyes and give into what his body and mind needed most. He felt as though his head was swimming at this point as he squeezed his green blanket in tightly clenched fists. Although he didn't want to admit it to himself, Zuko found himself wishing his Uncle would return home soon.

The time finally came in which Iroh had finished all of his duties at the teashop and was allowed to leave. With the sun now setting, he hurried back to the apartment, a little nervous to be walking alone by himself in the "colorful" part of town at night without his nephew to help him if anyone were to jump him.

After walking for more than 30 minutes, an exhausted Iroh made his way up the stairs that led him to the front door of their apartment. Having not seen Zuko in several hours, Iroh hoped that his nephew had finally calmed down enough to at least be able to tolerate being in the same room as him. As he opened the apartment door and entered the main room, he fumbled around in the dark trying to find their spark rocks so he could light their lamp. Iroh stumbled through the room until he finally stubbed his toe on a table.

"Oh forget it…" he sighed as he discretely created a small flame and shot it across the room, precisely lighting the tiny wick inside the lampshade.

Now able to see fairly well, Iroh quietly tip-toed over to the bedroom door. "Nephew!" he said boldly while sliding open the door. He stepped into the dark room and fully expected to be shoved forcefully back out into the main room. Surprisingly though, he was not violently greeted by Zuko upon entry. In fact, he wasn't greeted at all. It seemed as though no one was even home. Iroh looked around the room until his eyes finally came upon a small green lump situated on his nephew's mat. Curious, he slowly and quietly made his way over to Zuko's bed where he had essentially buried himself in the green blanket, leaving only his ankles and feet exposed. Iroh knelt down and his nephew's side and carefully pulled back the corner of the blanket, revealing Zuko's face.

Gazing down at the sleeping boy, Iroh instantly began to smile. Although the two had slept side by side for many nights now, Iroh hadn't actually watched his nephew sleep since he was little. Upon seeing Zuko's face, which normally was contorted into a series of scowls and grimaces, was strangely calm and innocent. His eyebrows were slightly yet naturally raised, instead of pointing downward into a bitter form. His mouth was closed yet relaxed; a stark difference from its normal disfigured grimace. His cheeks were ever so slightly flushed, and appeared to be much softer than they normally were. Iroh smiled fondly at the slumbering child, realizing that he never noticed how truly young Zuko still was. He had always viewed his nephew as a strong and capable adult ever since he surpassed him in height, but he now saw through Zuko's adult like façade to the lost and confused child that lied beneath the surface. Iroh continued to watch Zuko sleep, smiling as his mind wandered through countless memories of Zuko's younger days, until he noticed the large damp spot on which his nephew's head lay. Realizing what his nephew had been doing while he was at work all day, Iroh couldn't help but feel a little guilty for not taking the rest of the day off as well to comfort his nephew who now so obviously needed support.

Iroh placed a weathered, yet gentle hand behind his nephew's head as he raised his brow in gentle concern. Zuko stirred slightly at the touch, and slowly opened his eyes. He looked up at his Uncle, who was now visibly worried at what his nephew's reaction would be to his display of affection, as well as the expression on his face. As he regained consciousness, Zuko couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly relieved that he wasn't waking up alone, and remembering his last train of thought before he had drifted off to sleep, softly whispered "Uncle…" as he began to fight tears once again.

Relieved his nephew was no longer angry, but sad that he was obviously distraught, Iroh pulled the boy into a powerful yet warm embrace. He could feel his robes begin to dampen from his nephew's tears as Zuko buried his face into his Uncle's chest. Still holding his nephew close, Iroh gently whispered in his Zuko's ear what he had needed to hear for quite some time.

"You're not worthless, Zuko."


End file.
